Yesterday I had a sort of, life changing experience. I had an argument with my mom. Usually we fuss about my eating habits and sometimes my school work (in math), but yesterday was something different. My younger cousin is here to stay for a month. Now, when the idea was first called to my attention, I was actually pretty excited. Until she got here. I'm the youngest so I've never had to really deal with little kid's daunting requests and constant neediness. Don't get me wrong,I adore children, and I honestly love helping others. But, I don't know.. something about this trip seemed to really bug me. I started when my cousin asked me why my stomach 'hangs'. I proceeded to explain to her why (I like food to much, I don't exercise enough) but I then told her, that what she said bothered me and for her not to ask those questions. The very next night, she asked me the SAME THING. And now I was pissed. I called her 'obnoxious' and 'not cute'. Because at that time she wasn't. It brought me back to my low self esteem, grade school days. When the dancers at my school used to exclude me from conversations, and play time because my hair was poofy.. and my stomach hung. I was a happy kid and I'm happy now. I have really great friends and I love all the things I'm involved in, but something about that malicious act really ticked me off. And this morning when she apologized, I honestly didn't have the heart to accept it. Why? Because she knew what she was doing and the intention she had behind it. Those forced, because-an-adult-told-me-to-say-sorry things don't work for me. Back to the argument with my beloved mom. I was being very passive aggressive when she asked me if I was okay, and I lied when I said 'everything was cool'. Everything wasn't cool with me. And when my mom asked me if I wanter her there in the first place and I said no, she gave me that 'Wow, my daughter is a selfish monster' look. Which I HATE. I'm not saying I'm the most selfless Mother Teresa like person out there but I do things for others. I do volunteer my time and spirit to those less fortunate. Why? Because I feel really great doing it. After our tit for tat argument which got us nowhere, I threw a pen. She took my laptop and my phone and I left the house.
For 20 minutes.
I came back, my sister told me that mom went looking for me and that same night I honestly tried to be nice to my cousin. My mom has the gift of the guilt trip. But after my acts of kindness towards her, (I hope I don't sound like a condescending little kid) she basically took it for granted and she hurt my feelings on purpose and I kind of felt like I wasn't allowed to express how I felt about it with out getting the suck it up kind of answer. I ended up telling my mom what happened, and now everything is cool. I guess what I got from all of this is:
1. Sometimes it's better to stay quiet 2. Voicing your problems is okay in some circumstances 3. I have a great new running route 4. Life is full of challenges.. both big and small 5. You can always control how you react to a situation.
So it's a brand new month! A month for new changes, experiences and results. I really want to get in tip top shape for my junior year of high school. I've already begun an "inspiration" board. Not a "fitsporation or thinsporation" board, just inspiration. I want to loose these 30+ pounds not only for myself but for all the girls my age out there that think that it's impossible. Trust me, I've been there and I'm slowly getting away from that mindset. My health is my wealth, and sure being in great shape would be great for other people, but I'm honestly loosing this weight for me. To help me accomplish my goals and become a happier version of myself. And a nice plus would be to wear super cute shorts and crop tops but I noticed that when I do that, I loose track and I don't focus as hard as i should. Anyways, no more excuses, I'm going to drop at least 10 pounds this month and it's going to make me happy and healthy. So here's my plan of destruction: -10 minute abs -15 minute run -25 squats a day at least 60 oz of water A DAY *I don't plan dinner because it's so unpredictable and my mom likes to cook sometimes(
Monday Meal:
Egg Whites & Toast
Turkey Sandwich and fruit
Tuesday Treats:
Oatmeal and fruit
Green smoothie
Wednesday Way:
Yogurt,flaxseed, fruit
Avocado chicken wrap w/ mixed green salad
Thursday:
Green Smoothie
Egg and Ham McMuffin w/ fruit
Friday Feast:
Whole grain pancakes
Baja Chicken salad
Going to start tomorrow and drop these first 10 pounds!
Junior, Christian, Friend, Daughter, Sister, FBLA Board Member, foodie, traveler, selfie enthusiast and music lover. Those are just some of the titles that I have. All the titles plus many, many, many more make up who I have come to be (thus far). But I forgot to mention... Dreamer. I am an avid dreamer, I'm extremely imaginative, I love to write, I love to make up scenarios in my mind. I'm a strong believer of the saying 'if you can see it, you can achieve it'. I'm really old fashioned when it comes to a lot of things; boys, friendships, family, and all that good stuff, but especially when it comes to writing. What I'm trying to say is... I think that there's a special connection between the author and her pen and paper. I actually wrote this blog post down waaaay before I typed it. I wasn't even sure if I was going to actually take the time to type this out and post it up. But, I'm glad that I did. I love seeing the raw changes on my papers (that are filled with crossing out and word changes). Writing with pen and paper shows a more human side of people in my opinion. Our world is so attached to our iPhones and Galaxies and the like. We forget to sit down and actually TALK to one another. I'm guilty of it, I know I am. My mom (who I love but annoys me to no end) always says that I need to 'disconnect'. Simply turn off my phone and laptop and just DO something, anything. More recently I have taken that regimen more seriously. That's why when I take the time to write, I feel connected in an odd way. Like I'm somehow intertwined with someone else somewhere in the world who just likes to sit down, grab something to write with and do just that.. write. One of the reasons I started 'The Way I See It' is to inspire others. So, I hope that's what I will do. And that's just The Way I See It Love